You've heard of a Spoonerism, but what's a "Franism"?

First of all, for those of you who don't know what a Spoonerism is, click here.

Now, what is a Franism? I've been researching extensively on wikipedia to try and find an answer. The best I can come up with is that it is a mild form of Dysnomia, which is described as a "tip of the tongue" feeling, where the brain cannot recall the desired word or name...People who have dysnomia may replace a word with a synonym in an attempt to express their thoughts without using the word they are having difficulty retrieving".

The difference between Dysnomia and a Franism is that a person who uses "Franisms" won't even use a synonym to express their thoughts, but a completely unrelated word that sounds similar to the word they want to produce. For example:

My earliest memory of producing a Franism was at Appleby College, when I was trying to describe an immense building, and I called it "Absoloutely immaculate".

In university, my most humiliating and hilarious Franism was when I described an elegant dress as eloquent.

Just recently, a Korean friend asked me what surmise meant, and I described it as "evil plotting" (I'm not sure what I was thinking of...maybe scheme/intrigue). "Wrong." she said. "It says it means to guess".

AND UGH...Just recently, IN A QUERY TO A PROFESSIONAL MAGAZINE I used the word clambering instead of clamouring. The former means to climb with difficulty. I'm hoping the magazine interprets my mistake as poetic.

last week, a girl and I were discussing French Connection U.K. She said "F-C-U-K" and I laughed and said "Don't you mean...Wait...F-C-U-K?" "Yeah, that's what I said". Not this this is a wrong definition, but my brain was so set on her spelling it wrong that I actually heard it wrong and over analyzed it to the point of "fcuking" myself over.

I recently used the word assumably, and my friend called me out on it and said "assumably?! Don't you mean presumably?" "Do I? Hmm...that's one word I've been questioning myself on lately..." this is the one circumstance in which I was actually right. HA. Take that.

But at the moment I am doing a piece of creative writing in which I was wrong again. I wrote "Things would have preceded as normal" when I meant to say "things would have proceeded as normal".

I'm going to start a book to record my misuse of words so I can start to correct myself.