Body as Landscape

The Lake at Sunset

Why are there chinese characters floating in the sky? I'll tell you:

The first image is actually a modified photograph of my back and shoulder blade.
Haha, I fooled you. This is part of an ongoing artistic study I've been doing in which the body is treated as a form of landscape. I've been interested in this idea for over a decade. In 1998 I did a wonderful drawing of a woman emerging from a tree. Later that year I discovered a similar kind of series by a native artist named Norval Morisseau. He did wonderful paintings of lake horizons that were actually images of women's bodies (perhaps symbolizing Mother Earth?). Unfrontunately, I couldn't find photos of his body as landscape series online (I saw them at a gallery on Manitoulin Island).

In 2002 my final art project entitled "The Fall of Man, The Rise of Woman" used a similar concept. that's when I first got into photoshop. Later I did a painting of my sister's legs, in which the space inbetween formed another woman's body:
As you can see, I am very interested in nature and the use of negative space, as these concepts both visually represent some of my spiritual beliefs...But that's another blog in itself.

You've heard of a Spoonerism, but what's a "Franism"?

First of all, for those of you who don't know what a Spoonerism is, click here.

Now, what is a Franism? I've been researching extensively on wikipedia to try and find an answer. The best I can come up with is that it is a mild form of Dysnomia, which is described as a "tip of the tongue" feeling, where the brain cannot recall the desired word or name...People who have dysnomia may replace a word with a synonym in an attempt to express their thoughts without using the word they are having difficulty retrieving".

The difference between Dysnomia and a Franism is that a person who uses "Franisms" won't even use a synonym to express their thoughts, but a completely unrelated word that sounds similar to the word they want to produce. For example:

My earliest memory of producing a Franism was at Appleby College, when I was trying to describe an immense building, and I called it "Absoloutely immaculate".

In university, my most humiliating and hilarious Franism was when I described an elegant dress as eloquent.

Just recently, a Korean friend asked me what surmise meant, and I described it as "evil plotting" (I'm not sure what I was thinking of...maybe scheme/intrigue). "Wrong." she said. "It says it means to guess".

AND UGH...Just recently, IN A QUERY TO A PROFESSIONAL MAGAZINE I used the word clambering instead of clamouring. The former means to climb with difficulty. I'm hoping the magazine interprets my mistake as poetic.

last week, a girl and I were discussing French Connection U.K. She said "F-C-U-K" and I laughed and said "Don't you mean...Wait...F-C-U-K?" "Yeah, that's what I said". Not this this is a wrong definition, but my brain was so set on her spelling it wrong that I actually heard it wrong and over analyzed it to the point of "fcuking" myself over.

I recently used the word assumably, and my friend called me out on it and said "assumably?! Don't you mean presumably?" "Do I? Hmm...that's one word I've been questioning myself on lately..." this is the one circumstance in which I was actually right. HA. Take that.

But at the moment I am doing a piece of creative writing in which I was wrong again. I wrote "Things would have preceded as normal" when I meant to say "things would have proceeded as normal".

I'm going to start a book to record my misuse of words so I can start to correct myself.

Baby Names

Today I found a document on my external hard drive that lists all the baby names I've liked for the past 5 years or so. I wonder if my name choices will mature as I get older? I obvisouly have a strong preference for names that have the "a" sound in them...

Boys:
Adriel, Aiden, Atreyu, Noah, Lucas, Joshua, Jayden, Jullian, Jude, Dyan, Elliot, Cyan, Kiran, Kayden, Adoni...

Girls:
Asherah, Amalie, Gaia, Auria, Sanorah, Gweneviere, Arawn, Arwen, Estelle, Adriel, Ariel, Ophelia, Eve, Leora, Luca, Bronwyn, Cerridwen, Kali, Lalita, Lasya,Tara, Ariella, India...

Fran at the Cosmic Cafe

Here's the original painting. Sam is the guy working behind the bar. He takes good care of his regulars. And photoshop helped me "fill in the blank". This is a better respresentation of where I go to make all my wishes come true. (I don't drink the wine, it's just there for decoration.)

This is a painting by the artist that inspired me to try painting in this simplified style...Sadly I don't know the artist's name, but I'm sure he's current.

Fran's made up crazy vegan Banana Strawberry Bread

Ingredients:
4 bananas, pureed
1 apple purreed
6 strawberries, pureed
6 strawberries, sliced
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking soda
2 tablespoons baking powder
lots of cinnamon (NOT CLOVES as I accidentally used...ARGH!)
2 tablespoons oil

Instructions:
mix everything except the sliced strawberries, which should be placed on top of the dough once it's in a bread pan. Bake for about an hour and a half at 180C (it's vegan, so there's a lot of fruit juice that needs to evaporate). Stick a chopstick or toothpick down the centre, and when it comes out clean, it's done.

Note: This is more of a bread than a cake. Just so you know. It's good for breakfast, not dessert.

Fran's attempt at Palak Masoor Dal / Red Lentil and Spinach Soup

Ingredients:

2 cups red lentils
as much spinach as you want (remember it shrinks when heated...it might look like a lot, but it's not!)
a handful of parsley or fresh corriander if you have it
3 tomatoes
2 onions
2 tablespoons garlic (I like garlic)
taplespoon curry powder
more ground spices of your choice, for flavour (cumin, salt, tumeric etc etc)
2 fresh green chillies, chopped
splash of fresh lemon

Instructions:
Rinse the lentils, then cover them with water and boil.
Fry the onions until translucent, add the rest of the ingredients and fry until soft.
Slightly drain the lentils, then mix everything together and blend it with a food processor.
Sprinkle with a little lemon juice and fresh parsley.
Eat and savour. YUM!

Goldilocks Gets Fat and Fasts

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Princess Frances. She had golden hair and eyes as green as emeralds. Frances loved to eat, and she loved her body because it never got fat. Then one day, as her mother had predicted, her eating habits "started catching up with her". Frances suddenly realized that she was now 25 years old, and although she was still youthful, her metabolism just wasn't like it used to be. "Oh well!" though Frances, she still didn't care! She kept eating and eating and eating until her heart's content. Ledgend has it that she would have two apple pies and a sesame bun for breakfast, three chocolate bars for lunch and merely toast at teatime.

Then one day, Frances made a ginormous Macaroni and Cheese. She shared it with her friend, Princess Bernadette, whom after one peice said "Oh dear, I'm full". Frances had 9 peices and finished the Macaroni and Cheese herself! It was only then that she said "Oh dear, I'm full too." The next day, Frances had terrible stomach pains. She called in sick for two days (for the first time in two years). She spent all day by the lavatory, moaning and groaning.

That night, while Frances was slumped by the toilet, a beautiful woman appeared before her. The woman was swathed in shiny pink fabrics, and she was sitting in lotus position upon a puff of cloud. "Hello Frances, do not be afraid, I am your fairy godmother" said the woman. "Oh Fairy godmother, what on Earth shall I do?" cried Frances. "Fear not my dear, all you must do is drink water for one week, and then you will be cured". "What?" the confused Frances cocked her head, "but what shall I eat?" "Nothing." replied the fairy godmother. "But that's proposterous!" sniffed Frances "I'll starve to death! Not to mention my metabolism will become that of a sleeping bear and I'll just get even fatter afterwards." "Not if you follow my explixcit instructions...Now listen Frances, you will loose your hunger by the third day. Get lots of rest, do some yoga, and you'll be fine. On the morning of the 8th day, you can drink some watered down, fresh orange juice. Stick to juices and soups for a week, and after that, eat healthily. Your body will have forgotten its addiction to sugars". And with a poof, the fairy god mother was gone.

Frances listened to her fairy godmother. For breakfast she "ate" a bowl of water "cereal". For lunch she drank some water "tea", and at dinner she "ate" some water "soup". By the end of the fourth day, Frances had so much energy that she wrote in her journal: "If every day after this is just as good as yesterday and today, I could go for 10 days!" The next day she wrote: "I spoke to soon...ugh..." She slept for hours every day and slept all nightlong.

She still did yoga, and had somehow picked up the habit of talking to plants, one plant in particular, whom she called "heart tree". It became her new best friend.

One day she woke up, and it was the 8th day! She stepped on a scale and realized that she had lost 20lbs! She knew she would gain it all back if she wasn't careful. For two days she only drank fruit juice, and continued to drink at least 2 litres of water a day. Her friend advised her to eat rice or potato gruel instead of fruit juice because the juice had too much sugar. Unfortunately her "potato gruel" turned into a sophisticated carrot/potato/tomato curry soup which gave her stomach pains after 2 tablespoons.

"ARGH! This is the hardest part!" screamed Frances. Since she started drinking juice, she was SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. She would stay up late at night, drooling over recipies and looking longfully at restaurant menus. She couldn't sleep because she dreamed of veggie burgers, burritos, and curry. But the stomach pains staved her off. Everytime she tried to eat something that her stomach didn't like, it let her know, and it was back to a watery rice porridge for Frances.

She was careful for a week, only eating soups and drinking water. Royal guests brought her chocolate cake and McDonalds french fries, but Frances had no urge to eat any of it. She bought many fresh vegetables and fruits and reclaimed herself as a true vegetarian (not a junk-food-etarian). On the 5th day Frances ate an apple for breakfast and said "Oh dear, I'm full." She couldn't believe she was full after a single apple. For lunch and dinner she made a delicious red lentil soup. After a single bowl Frances said "Oh dear, I'm full".

On the 6th day Frances ate an orange for breakfast. She said "Oh dear, I'm full". For lunch she finished her soup. In the afternoon she made a delicious and healthy vegan strawberry banana bread. It had 15 strawberries, an apple, and 4 bananas in it. No sugar! Frances felt proud that she could make something so healthy...not to mention that she didn't even want to eat the whole loaf! Just a single peice and Frances said "Oh dear, I'm full".

The End